Begin the New

L.A. rocks after the rain - Friday's sunset over Hollywood

One way I try to keep the solutions of the AA literature alive in my life is by practicing them. Another way is to read. Reading a paragraph from the 12&12 every morning has become a habit only because I have made an effort to do it. It doesn’t become a habit over night and as I wrote the other day, I know what a habit looks like. This habit is one of the good ones I have today in recovery, just like journal writing, meditating, going to meetings and talking to my sober friends. Anyone can make a beginning at these things. It is not about what I haven’t done up to this point, it’s about my opportunity to make a beginning right now.

As New Years Eve approaches, I am reminded of the way most of the modern world makes new beginnings – New Years Resolutions. It is a habit for many people to make a promise to end an old behavior and begin some new behavior on this day. The end of the old year and the beginning of the new one is symbolic of an opportunity to change and I was a victim of this idea for many years. The problem for me and for so many is that I make these resolutions and they only last for a month or two. I know I’m not alone in this and all I have to do is go to the gym or AA meetings in January and then again in March to prove it. How many years did my New Years Resolutions include getting clean and sober?

The great realization I had in sobriety with the help of my sponsor was that I didn’t have to wait to end the old and begin the new. In fact, it was happening all the time and I just didn’t notice it. Not that I was changing my behavior all the time, but that the opportunities to change were presented. Recognizing these opportunities today, I can make a choice to end something that is not working and start something new. I don’t have to hang around in an old behavior, a job that makes me miserable, a relationship, friendship, a meeting or a defect of character that isn’t working. I am always coming to these crossroads. I have an opportunity  as I stand here at the choice point to stick with what I have always done or to begin the new.

The second part to this realization is that I actually lack the ability to do this on my own. This is why I stop going to the gym or the meetings in March. Lack of Power is my dilemma. I need a Power greater than me to begin the new and then to sustain it. In this way, I get to practice the principle of ending the old and beginning the new and I come to believe in a Power greater than me not just once, but over and over again.